No News Is.....Boring

It seems like forever since my last blog, and that's because it has been. Let's catch everybody up on what's been going on with me of late.

First and foremost, as anyone who has tried calling my cellphone knows, I recently got a new cellphone complete with a matching new cellphone number: 054-8101-324 (or 011-972-54-81-1-324). I got the new phone because I don't have access to a landline while on the army base, and my new cellphone should be significantly cheaper now that I have access to special soldier plans.

Now, I bet you are all wondering: "Adam, I know you are in the army, and I know that you did an unimpressive basic training for sickly people, but what exactly do you do in the army?" The answer is that I currently serve in the Liaison and Foreign Relations Division of the of the army. The division deals with Israeli and Foreign military attaches, and coordinates international travel arrangements for military personnel. Primarily, I work with Americans. Basically, what this means is, I'm a secretary. At this point, I'm learning how the office works - sending faxes and answering phone calls among other things (these other things have the potential to be a little more interesting). The Hebrew is a bit difficult, but I'm learning a lot. I'm OK in basic conversation, but my reading and writing are a tad behind, and my vocabulary of technical terms is virtually non-existent. All of the people on the base are extremely nice and have really gone out of their way to help me with my Hebrew and to become acquainted with all things army.

That just about covers the basics, I'll be back with fun army stories in a few days. Until then, find some other way to procrastinate.

Very Basic Training

As you might have guessed from my experience at the Bakum, my basic training was not the most serious experience in the world. It lasted only 4 days and was comprised of approximately 100 kids representing a wide range of health disorders. In addition to the group of deaf soldiers that I referenced in my last post, there were also people suffering from diabetes, motor deficiencies, and a surprisingly large number of people with Crohns/Colitis. Because the basic training serviced the "health impaired" there was neither physical exertion nor discipline. Instead the day was filled with lectures and classes about basic army topics such as the values of the army, how the army is built, and the ranks of the army. There were also several classes designed specifically for us as volunteers, such as a question and answer sessions with an officer from the volunteer bureau (through which all of our paperwork is filed), an army doctor, and a panel of current volunteers. Each one of these classes was highlighted by ridiculous comments by obnoxious Israeli kids who still thought they were in high school. If it had been the US army, they just would have taken these out back behind the woodshed and beat some discipline into them (just like my old pappy used to do to me when I wasn't walking to school barefoot through 18 feet of snow). At about 5:00 each night - that's 17:00 in army time - most of the kids would go home leaving only those of us who lived to far away to commute. At night they clearly had no idea what to do with us as we participated in engaging programming such as sit and watch a movie, and sit and watch as another group of soldiers has a program. Finally the last night they just gave up and gave us 5 hours of free time. All in all it was pretty much like gadna, only not nearly as serious, and oh yeah, no guns. So you don't have to be too scared. Yet.

Thank God For Birthright

I am writing this message from the international convention center in Jerusalem courtesy of the birthright program. Today I got to leave the army early to go mill about with approximately 3000 kids and talk to them about the Garin. Needless to say this is exciting. I don't know how much time I have, so I'll start at the beginning and see how far I get before they kick me off.

Pre-Army:

The week leading up to the army was a busy one as made final preparations for my "basic training." In addition, I had the good fortune to visit with my friends Sam and Shira who were visiting with their respective families. It was a great treat before the army and only added to the excitement of the whole "about to enter the army" thing. I saw my friends, bought some gear and joined the army.

"Bakum:"

The first thing you do when you enter the army is go to a base called the Bakum. It is here that you get your dogtags, military ID, immunizations, and other assorted equipment (uniforms, undershirts, etc.). As I moved from station two particularly funny things took place. First, while I was waiting to sort out a misunderstanding about which type of "kitbag" I would receive, a particularly stupid soldier decided that he would make the decision for me. He said "Here's your bag" and threw a particularly raggedy kitbag my way. I caught it, informed him that it wasn't my bag, and threw it back. We then proceeded to play catch with the kitbag for a few minutes until I finally just put it down on a counter. In the end I received a much nicer kitbag. The second story involves a group of deaf soldiers, and the same dumb soldier making up his own sign language and yelling (which wasn't a very effective way of communicating with the deaf soldiers). I have to go because the birthright kids started coming in, but just use your imagination to fill in the rest of the story.

Stay tuned for stories about basic training the next time I get internet access.

Isn't It Ironic

I know what you all must be thinking: "Now that Adam is actually IN the army, why hasn't he blogged yet?" The answer is quite simple. In the army you don't have much time, or internet access for that matter. I have been saving up stories waiting for an opportune moment to blog, but I haven't been able to find one yet. Unfortunately, this remains the case as I must wake up in 5 hours to return to my base. I'll hopefully have time sometime this week to relate my anecdotes from preparation for the army, getting my equipment, "basic training for volunteers," and life on an army base. Stay tuned for the posts and I apologize for the delay.